Sai Healing & Education

For many of you, my work may be most familiar through my YouTube channel, where I speak openly about narcissistic and antagonistic relationship patterns and their impact on people’s lives. Over the last decade, I have focused my therapeutic and media work on helping people understand and heal from these experiences. But what many people do not know is that I have also spent more than thirty years as an academic researcher.

Despite how many lives these patterns affect, “narcissistic abuse” has often been dismissed, minimized, or treated as though both parties share equal blame. It is frequently assumed to be no different from other forms of relational harm. Yet, in my clinical work, I have seen consistent patterns that set these experiences apart—patterns of chronic manipulation, gaslighting, entitlement, and emotional inconsistency that leave survivors doubting themselves long after the relationship ends. But clinical observation, no matter how widespread, is not enough. We need data to show the world what survivors already know: this is a distinct form of harm with distinct consequences.

In science, measurement matters. When we can clearly define and measure an experience, we can show how it differs from other forms of distress. We can document its impact on health, work, relationships, and communities. And once something can be measured, institutions, funders, and policymakers can finally take it seriously.

This is why research is essential. Without research, there is no funding. Without funding, there is no broader recognition. And without recognition, countless people continue to suffer in silence—misunderstood, misdiagnosed, or blamed—because the systems around them lack the language and data to see what is happening.